Sunday, January 5, 2014

Wedding Planning



So..it's been a little while.  December is such a crazy month.  I know it is for everyone.  On top of the holidays, it's my busiest month for work so I decided that I would put off wedding planning until January.  I think before we were engaged, I expected that I would love wedding planning.  I have always loved looking at pictures of other weddings so why wouldn't I love planning our own?  Well.  Hah!  First of all there is that little thing called a budget.  I would suspect that wedding planning is a breeze is you have an unlimited budget but we do not. And then I've found myself really just not caring about a lot of stuff.  I've asked Todd approximately 15 times if we can just elope.  I even found a great elopement package at the Old Edwards Inn but he wasn't having any of that so onward we will go.

I'm a pretty decisive person- I know what I like, I pick it and then move on to the next thing so I've got a great deal of the wedding details already planned out in my head.  We are going to look at the venue at the end of the month and hopefully pick a date while we are there.  I haven't decided how much I will share beforehand but I will tell you, we've got about 10 months to plan, and it will be in a state that neither of us are from.  THAT I am excited about!  I've already picked out bridesmaids dresses (although I haven't formally asked my bridesmaids yet) and their gifts, all of my accessories, and the reception and ceremony decor.  I've contacted a caterer with menu ideas and requested a proposal and requested a proof for invitations.

There are certain things though that have made me roll my eyes.  I found invitations that I liked online so I requested a sample.  Then the next day I went into a local paper store to see what they had- I like to shop at local stores so if they had something and their prices are good, I'd go with them.  Well, as I was going through the details with the girl in the shop I asked her "can't I just put our wedding website on the invitation?" She about fell out of her chair.  I mean REALLY.  You want me to pay an extra $1.50 for an enclosure card just for a website? That's almost an extra $200 for a 2 inch piece of paper.  "Well, you want your invitations to be timeless."  Listen sister.  It's going to hang on someone's fridge for a few months and then it's going in the trash.  We might have a picture of it in an album somewhere and we might look at it a total of 4 times in the next 30 years.  And is the internet going somewhere? Are URLs going to be outdated?  Maybe I should get one of those little scanny squares instead and then they can just scan it with their phone to find out wedding details.  I'm just going to apologize ahead of time, if you get an invite and it has a URL on it, I'm sorry for being so tacky.

I've been emailing back and forth with my friend Kristen a bunch and one thing she told me that has really stuck is "no one is going to care about the chairs, napkins, and china.  Just get a pretty dress and a great photographer."  It seems so obvious but when you get sucked into the wedding monster, it's easy to forget.   The last wedding Todd and I went to was in Asheville- I cannot tell you what the napkins looked like, I can't remember whether they had white chairs, gold chivari chairs, or if they used real china.  I remember that their venue was beautiful, the bride was stunning, and they had like 6 different kinds of really, really good cakes.

If I disappear for a few weeks, it's because Todd finally gave into my elopement pressure.



29 comments:

  1. I got married in July 2012 and your friend is so right. Honestly, I can't remember what color our napkins were...and it was OUR wedding...and it wasn't even that long ago. Decide on the few things that are most important to you as a couple and go with it. For us it was photography, entertainment and guest list. I didn't want to have to cut people off the list who were important to me so I could rent $9/each chairs. I thought that was silly. That being said, if they won't be part of your MARRIAGE, then they don't have to be at your wedding. Guest list is HARD no matter how big or small your wedding is. Good luck! Try to have fun with it. Keep details to yourself if you have tons of "opinionated" family/friends. This will keep you from having too many opinions and getting your feelings hurt if Aunt Sue doesn't like purple table cloths :)

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  2. If you can talk him into the Old Edwards Inn elopement---DO IT!! I'm a wedding planner that has done weddings up there and the service they provide their brides is unmatched anywhere else.

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  3. I hear ya, sister! There were a lot of things during my wedding planning that I didn't really care about either...especially invitations...because I knew they'd be in the trash after everyone was done with them. We actually ordered our invitations from Office Depot. It sounds ridiculous, but we saved SO MUCH money on them...and we had 2 additional enclosures. The paper and print quality was outstanding (they don't do it in house, you actually have the place the order) and I was really satisfied. Plus, if you get the Office Depot coupons in the mail, you can use those on the order.

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  4. My family is Italian, and for generations it's been said the only 2 things you need for a great wedding are an excellent band and an open bar. ;) And all our family weddings have been a blast! :) Good luck with the planning. It will all be worth it. And don't worry about what anyone thinks! It's your day! You can do anything you want! :)

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  5. Your friend has nailed it on the head. People will like it if you have great food, booze and you will love feeling gorgeous and making sure a great photographer captures your day.

    Everything else can be caterer's white (place setting, table cloths, etc), you can do beautiful but inexpensive centerpieces (We got hydrangeas from Sam's Club), and no one cares about those favors (we did lotto tickets that doubled as place cards). Have fun!

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  6. When you need a laugh from all the planning... http://www.etiquettehell.com/

    All the best

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  7. Why have I not gotten an invitation with a scan code yet? Best idea ever. Do it. Please! RSVP info, Registry info, maps all of it! Right there!

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  8. I couldn't agree more with the advice you were given, it's SO true! We searched, interviewed & really did our research on the photographer we chose & the morning of our wedding my mom got a call about 11am that she was sick and was sending her assistant. At that point what can you do? Long story short I think out of over 600 pictures there is one that was decent and we actually had blown up and framed. To this day it's devastating but we found a new and awesome photographer for our 2nd anniversary and we back to the beach where we were married and had them take anniversary photos. I absolutely treasure them and have tons framed and in an album. Since that day I've always told my friends & sister the one thing not to skimp on is the photographer, the pictures are priceless and so worth the money. As for the invitations & all the other details, do what YOU and Todd like, don't worry about every etiquette rule in the book. You have immaculate taste and style and I have no doubt it will be a stunning and beautiful day, worthy of the cover of Southern Weddings Magazine. {sorry for the book} : )

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  9. I'm cracking up, and I absolutely agree with Kristen. No one cares about the china or personalized NAPKINS or even the FLOWERS. gasp. Make sure your bouquet is gorgeous, get a dress you absolutely LOVE and hire a fantastic photographer. Oh. And the band. The band makes the party. (Or whatever you decide for music.) Our band was in charge of the whole night and if they had stunk, it would have been a whole lot different. You are going to be a beautiful bride, but more importantly, y'all are going to have a beautiful marriage. You have amazing taste. So excited for you! And go ahead and put that URL on the invitation ;)

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  10. You need to ease up a little and get rid of all the stress your wedding planning is giving you. Just hire a wedding planner http://www.vivahlounge.com/ and leave everything to them. Best of Luck for your wedding planning and have a wonderful life ahead.

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  11. Nicole, I have been reading your blog for years (but have never commented) and this post just really struck a nerve because YOU ARE SO RIGHT! I have been married for 5 years, and if you don't mind a small piece of advice, let me second your friend Kristen! I say this slightly in jest - obviously, different details are more important to other people and there's a reason someone splurges for the $200 RSVP, but please don't feel the need to do things out of someone else's tradition. If I could go back and do it again - and I LOVED my wedding - I would pare it down significantly to offset the cost and stress that followed me around. I know whatever you guys decide is going to be wonderful!

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  12. This post cracked me up. When I was younger I thought I wanted to have a huge wedding one day and now whenever I hear cousins or friends talk about wedding planning, I'm thinking elopement sounds great. Your right though, what I remember most is the bride and groom, the venue, the food, and the overall "vibe" of a wedding. I may admire the details at the time but two years later, I won't remember.

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  13. There were only 3 things that were commented on after my wedding, about two months ago: the food, the booze, and my dress. Bam. Three most important things. Wow them with the food, fill them with booze so everyone is open and having a great time, and let them fawn all over how beautiful you two look together.

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  14. I agree about the photography. That is where I definitely splurged. You are going to have those images forever. As far as the url goes, why not just include it on a save the date? There are lots of inexpensive options for save the dates that you could diy.

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  15. I/We are planning our wedding right now too and believe me sister...it is so easy to get caught up in the little details. I am having a really hard time dealing with the fact that no one will probably care about the cocktail napkins, centerpieces and chairs as much as I do. Good luck with everything! Let me know if you need to vent! I'll be right there with you!

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  17. Ugh--was trying to edit, but you can't--then deleted to re-type, but it didn't copy/paste, now I look sketch. Long story short: photographer is #1 and URL on an invite is fine. It's 2014, it's almost to the point where you don't have a wedding website people get annoyed. I know as a wedding guest I rely on their websites for dates/exact times/ etc even with the invite.

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  18. Girl, I just got married in October and I had the same mentality. All people care about is the food, entertainment, booze, and your dress (only girls really care about that). My only suggestion about having a wedding in a state that neither of y'all are from is to have an "Accommodations Card" with various information that elderly guests might need to know. We talked about eloping then my sister told me that throughout all the stress and details her wedding weekend was the best and most fun weekend of her life. Have fun planning :)

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  19. That is some great advice. I can't tell you how often I get comments to.this.day about how beautiful and FUN our wedding was, and let me tell ya...my dress was from David's Bridal, we used plastic dinnerware, Trader Joe's wine and 2 kegs, and our DJ was my brother in law who used his iPod. I'm sure most people would think it sounds pretty tacky but it was beautiful, we married outside, the decor was simple and timeless, and we had little silly tailgating games people could play during pictures/before the reception, and we had a big bonfire at the end. Just focus on what you love and don't let all the Internet/blog/IG pressure to have everything be the "best of" get you sidetracked. You have GORGEOUS taste and a GORGEOUS wedding doesn't have to cost a million dollars. Can't wait to hear more about your planning!!!

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  20. My husband and I got married almost 12 years ago (Pre Pinterest, thank the Lord). The ceremony was held outside. The wedding programs were printed on fans. Guests were given lemonade/ cokes in glass bottles when they arrived, etc. It screamed ME.

    AND then it rained.

    The best part is the honeymoon. Focus your energy there. ;)

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  21. We got married over 11 years ago and your friend is right. You will stress over all of the little details and all that really matters is the photographer. Everything else is just lagniappe (popular word down here in New Orleans) We got married in September because there was no tropical storms for like 5 years prior. Guess what? a tropical storm came the day before. Typical.

    But in all seriousness, splurge on the photographer and the rest is just fun. Get a dress you love and just focus on YOU TWO... all everyone talks about from our wedding is the cake, the booze, and the really sweet homily the priest did about us. To this day, I have people that mention those three things. But the things I hold dearest are the pictures from that day!

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  22. I don't know you personally but have read your blog for a few years. I also read Nancy Ray's blog(and don't know her) . I think your styles would be perfect together. Check her out. Patti http://nancyrayphotography.com/blog/

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  23. I hear you :) We got our invitations printed at Sam Flax (art supply store) to save money too...I can't say enough about the photographer, either, wasn't thrilled with mine, and that is my biggest regret. I think the best decision we made was having a destination wedding in Charleston--everyone had such a good time there and was so in love with the place that I didn't have to do a lot in terms of decorating, entertaining, etc...plus it looks awesome in photos ;)

    Alissa

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  24. Your first paragraph sounds just like me when I was planning. All I wanted to do was be married. I thought I would enjoy the planning but the money and feeling like I needed to do things for other people made me miserable. As long as you love it, you will be happy! Good luck!

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  25. Oh my gosh I feel the exact same way about planning! I've been wedding-obsessed for what seems like forever and now that it's time to actually plan I've found that I'm taking my time instead. I really thought that the second we were engaged I would jump right in and everything would be decided in a few weeks. Well, we got engaged at the beginning of November and the only thing done is the venue!! I have ideas of what I want but I'm kid of the opposite in that I'm the worst decision maker in the world and can't reallyyyyy decide on anything. I'm sure that will change once a few more big items at checked off, but for now I'm blissfully enjoying my non-planning!

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  26. I tell my fiance every night before bed that we still could elope. We've had a long engagement; we've been engaged for over a year and have 5 more months to go. Let me tell you, eloping would be so much easier. I have a hard time thinking about all the money we're spending on ONE day when we could use that money to do something else. Best of luck! I can't wait to keep up with you through the process. I know whatever you pick will be gorgeous!

    champagneandsuburbs.blogspot.com

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  27. You've disappeared for a few weeks like you mentioned in your blog post. Did you elope ;) ????

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  28. I'm not even engaged yet, but I have told my boyfriend so many times that the thought of planning our wedding is scarier to me than actually being married to him...ha! We will be on a budget too and I know it's going to be tough! Good luck- I know you will make your day special regardless of the napkins and chairs!

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  29. Happy wedding planning - I just wanted to throw out the idea of maybe not putting URL's etc on your invitation for this reason - maybe having it framed. I had our invite framed and I look at it every single day. My husband and kids see it everyday. No matter where we lived (or will live) it's been a constant part of our decor. I still get giddy when I stop to read it now and then and remember all the excitement leading up to that day and the gratitude I feel for my husband and I finding each other and what that has led to with 3 kids. (so mushy I know) At least you aren't putting where you are registered on it like I know some brides do now, right? (RIGHT?!) ;)

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